by Nate Gill '14
Three letters: F.D.R.
I know what you’re thinking. The guy was in a wheelchair--how could he possibly compete with the likes of Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt in a fight to the death?
Now while I admit that his physical disability is significant, I believe it’s actually an advantage. With so many intimidating competitors, F.D.R. will certainly be underestimated or even ignored in the early stages of combat. What’s more, he’ll rely on his wits and charm rather than raw force—I suspect he’d find some more easily manipulated competitor (I’m looking at you, Grant) to fight alongside him up to the end, when he could easily dispatch his unwitting ally.
He may have been disabled, but he still won four elections, pulled the U.S. economy out of the Great Depression, and pretty much killed Hitler. I rest my case.