by Steph Palazzo '14
A lot of people don't know this, but the great general of the north had a secret. His name was originally Hiram Ulysses Grant. It's an understatement to say he didn't like it—he hated it. Some of you may already understand why. You see, his initials spelled HUG.
Not terribly suiting for a man trying to succeed in the gruesome world of war. Not even his mythical Greek name could compensate for this semantic sin. So he changed it to better reflect his intimidating stature and courageous nature. And with this new name came the victory of the North.
So, let me ask you now, with a name like Ulysses S. Grant, how could he lose?