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Zachary Taylor

by Amy Blakemore '13

No one really remembers Zachary Taylor. Maybe it’s because he only served as president for sixteen months before dying in office. Or maybe it’s because he was the last president to own slaves while in office.

Either way, discard whatever you’ve heard or haven’t heard about good ‘ole President Taylor, and hear this: he may have been an unremarkable (and, er, racist) President, but he was known as “Old Rough and Ready” for a reason.

Why such a short term in office, you may be wondering? Taylor was too busy serving the United States Army for forty years. The Battle of Palo Alto? He won that. The Battle of Monterrey? Yeah, he won that, too. Sure, his handwriting has been described as “nearly illiterate,” but who needs to write when the main priority is survival? Taylor had no time for sissy things like poems. Or education. Or tolerance. He was always out fighting for a win.

And he would do the same in the Hunger Games. Plus, we already know he wouldn’t get emotionally involved with the other contestants. (Looking at you, Peeta Mellark.) Enslavement, anyone? 

  • Amy Blakemore '11